


Too Far to Look Back Now

by MoreAdventurous16



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: College AU, College Student Clarke Griffin, Confident Clarke, Eventual Smut, F/F, Slow Burn, Softball player Clarke, Student Clarke, Student Lexa, backstories, coach lexa, nervous lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 04:30:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoreAdventurous16/pseuds/MoreAdventurous16
Summary: How could Lexa forget about the softball team? She’s about to start her internship with the strength and conditioning coaches at the university. The university where Clarke plays softball. The coaches who coach all the athletes. How did she forget?OrLexa and Clarke have vague history and see each other for the first time in a year because Lexa forgot she was still avoiding Clarke.This is my first fic, so be gentle ~*~*~*~*~ still writing more chapters, so I don’t really have a schedule yet as to when I’ll post or if it’ll be consistent. What an adventure.I tend to not read many slow burn fits and yet. Here I am writing the slowest of the burns. #sorrynotsorry





	1. The Internship

Lexa hadn’t thought this through.

She was about to start the first day of her internship with the strength coach at the college, but she had never thought about the fact that she might be working with the softball team eventually. Or, you know, the first day out.

She’d emailed Coach Pike about helping out with some strength and conditioning coaching this year since she was prepping to get her certifications soon. She already had a weightlifting cert, but no experience. Pike emailed her back saying he’d love to have an Arkadia aluma helping out in the mornings with the other coaches, and to be there Monday at 5:45 a.m. Whew. She hadn’t gotten up that early for a long time. Good thing it was only for Monday, Tuesday, Thursdays. 

Good thing softball was scheduled to come into the gym on Monday, Tuesday, Thursdays. Good thing the girl she’d been pining over for the last two years was on the softball team and Lexa would be seeing her bright and early on those days.

  
She first saw Clarke at a party during Lexa’s junior year. It was at Lincoln’s place, so Lexa wasn’t a stranger to the environment, she was actually quite comfortable and in her element. They partied here all the time. But then some girls from the softball team walked in one night. It was the weekend before classes started, a last hurrah party for the summer to get everyone together again before school stress kicked in, and since so many people had been away for summer break, it was a chance to reconvene with buddies who’d been away.

A couple girls from the team walked in through the back door of the house while Lexa was talking to Anya.

“I mean, it’s not a huge deal that I have to take the class from Dr. Chance, but I was really hoping I could get into a different one for-,” Lexa halted her sentence, distracted by one of the freshman softball girls who just walked in.

“Lex?” Anya had only been partially listening anyway, but she noticed the abrupt stop from her cousin, and looked around to where Lexa was starring. “Oh good, the new girls are here.”

Clarke walked in behind Raven and Octavia, two girls everyone already knew for being star freshmen on the team from the year before. Anya laughed, pulling Lexa out of her trance of blonde and blue.

“What?” Lexa said. 

Anya started cracking up, then patted Lexa on the shoulder. “Girl, if you don’t get her number by the end of the night you might not make it. Good luck.” Anya kept laughing as she walked toward the kitchen to get a new drink.

Lexa sighed and shook her head, knowing Anya just liked teasing her. She looked back up at where the softball girls just were and saw the new blonde glance at her. Was it at her? Or just in her direction? Now Lexa started to feel super self aware that she was standing by herself and awkwardly looked for someone nearby to talk to, walking up to Monty and Jasper who were setting up the pong cups at the table.

“Hey Lexa,” said Jasper. “Stoked for classes to start or what?”

“Ha, as stoked as I can be I guess. How bout you guys, are you rooming together again this year?” She casually looked back at the blonde again. Her hair was in a pony tail. She was wearing a tank top and short jean shorts.

“Yeah, man, always!” said Monty. “You and Anzilla still in the same place?” Monty thought Anya was a lot. He was definitely freaked out by her assertiveness, and after she tanked him and Jasper last year at a pong tournament with a vengeance, he started calling her that because “she destroyed that table like Godzilla destroys everythingggg!”

They were all drunk and Anya was on board with the name, surprisingly.

“Yeah, we’re actually moving in here, down in the basement rooms,” she said. She watched the softball girls move into the next room. She didn’t get Clarke’s number.

  
Here she was now, two years older, trying to figure out her career, and staring at the gym schedule of which teams come in when, and all she can think about is how she’s about to see Clarke, guaranteed, three days a week for the next school year. 

“If you stare at it long enough you can embed the memory of it in your mind.”

Roan had walked in while she stood there like an idiot, apparently. 

“Or I can just make you your own copy,” he said, handing her a copy of the teams schedule and smiling. “Not a morning person, I take it?”

Lexa laughed nervously. “Yeah, I just need to wake up the rest of the way I guess.” Nervously? She didn’t get nervous. She felt off. She felt-

“Alright, good morning sunshines! Let’s chat for a sec before softball gets here,” said Pike as he walked into the office that was too small for even just the three of them. Another guy walked in behind him, and he smiled a hello smile at Lexa, reaching out to shake her hand.

“Morning, you must be Lexa,” he said. “I’m Bellamy.”

“Hey, nice to meet you.”

She gave him a quick once over and wondered where he fit in here, he was a pretty skinny dude for a strength coach. She was skinny too, but obviously toned and fit as a whole. He must’ve read her mind. Or her facial expression, she can’t hide much with those, especially this early.

“I’m more on the side of the conditioning coaching here,” he said.

“He’s the runner of our little fit family here,” chimed in Pike. “Guys, this is Lexa, she’s going to be our intern, slash assistant strength coach until she gets certified at the college level to not have to assist anymore.”

The two men mumbled quiet hellos and they proceeded to talk about the athlete's programming for the week.

  
Not five minutes later the doors to the gym opened and a flood of chatter came through the door, closely followed by about 20 college girls in shorts and matching shirts that said “Arkadia Softball.” They all huddled around in a group until Pike came out to address them.

“G’morning team! I hope you all got plenty of rest last night because we’re about to run you into the ground,” Pike said with a laugh. The whole team groaned sleepily. Lexa looked out the office door to do a quick scan of faces. She kind of knew Raven, mostly because of Anya. They weren’t dating or together or anything, but Raven definitely came over to their place a few times and Lexa had experienced some awkward, mid of the night run in with Raven in the halls of her own house. That was last year, though. Raven went home for the summer so Lexa assumed her and Anya’s arrangement had taken a pause.

She saw Clarke standing next to Raven and Octavia, hair in a ponytail, no makeup but still making Lexa forget to breathe for a second because she was so insanely..pretty. Even with just awake eyes Lexa thought Clarke was the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen. 

She knew Clarke. Also kind of. But not really.

Clarke smiled at Lexa and gave her a little wave when she saw her looking at her. Oh god I was staring, shit. Lexa smiled back quickly but shifted her gaze back to everyone, anyone else. Bellamy walked out next to her and told the girls to get on the field.

“We start in three minutes, ladies, let’s get going!”

Everyone moved outside. 

Lexa spent that first morning just observing. Observing Clarke, then trying to observe anything other than Clarke. She was here to learn, to see how different coaches led their athletes, and how to become a better coach herself. She kept to herself, standing quietly on the sidelines of the field next to Roan, as they watched Pike and Bellamy do as they’d promised, as they had the team running 40 yard shuttle sprints for what seemed like ever.

Lexa watched Clarke. How could she not? She was the fastest on the team. Her nickname was Jaguar.

“Bellamy loves this shit,” said Roan next to her, laughing. “I think he’s pushing them extra though because his sister’s on the team.”

Lexa nodded. “That makes sense.” Just then Octavia yelled out, “Jesus, Bell, don’t forget we’ve gotta walk to our classes later!”

Bellamy smiled.

“Hey ladies! Did you hear that? Octavia just said she wants to do double reps this morning!”

An echo of groans came from the field.

Roan laughed again. “They’re gonna start puking next round, just watch.”


	2. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not THAT first time, calm down.
> 
> Tags will be added as the chapters go on, I’m still figuring out a few things with where I want the story to go and how quickly.
> 
> Enjoy some flashbacks!

The first time Lexa had ever spoken to Clarke was about three months after that first party. Lexa and Anya had moved in with their other cousin, Lincoln, and his roommates Murphy and Miller. They took over the two basement bedrooms, as well as the basement living room area. The boys dubbed it the Lioness Den, but it eventually ended up being the main place in the house where the five of them all hung out together and watched movies, or had game nights. It was the off limits area for when they had parties (which was most weekends) so it was always the best kept place in the house.

Above the front door outside, a few years earlier someone had apparently gotten so wasted that they carved the word “Thunderdome” into the wooden frame. Anyone who was anyone on campus knew their house as The Thunderdome from then onward. Good parties happened at The Thunderdome.

Anya and Lexa would party with them once in a while, Anya more than her. By some miracle their rooms were basically soundproof, so Lexa would usually just stay downstairs and watch a movie in the Den or retreat to her room to study or sleep. She wasn’t much of a partier.  
Except the night she talked to Clarke the first time. She was definitely not sober for that.

“Welcome to THUNDERDOOOOME!” Lexa yelled with a red plastic cup in each hand as she walked into the backyard that night at her house, full of people. She didn't know most of them but she got an appropriately thunderous and positive reaction back from the 50+ people in her yard, including Jasper, who was equally as drunk as her. Which was very much drunk.

“Yo! Lex, you really put it into fifth gear for this one!” he said as they did a weird fist bump hug thing, greeting each other on the porch. He took one of the cups out of her hands. “Hey try this instead, it’s way better than this shit-for-beer you’ve got inside.”

He held up a bottle of something dark green without a label on it. How very Jasper of him.

“Hey! That beer was bought with Lincoln’s hard earned- hard earned money!” she said, drunken words falling out of her mouth in all directions.

“But yeah you’re right, it’s shitty.”

Lexa grabbed the bottle and took a swig. Jasper’s eyes widened as he watched her pull from it, then he started laughing. Lexa started to cough.

“Jesus fuck, what is in there?” she asked.

“Oh, you know. A little of this, and a little of that.”  
She gave him some drunken side eye shade. “Well at least warn me next time.”

They started laughing, and just then a girl with wavy blonde hair walked in the back gate with a group. Clarke was there. Lexa’s stomach flipped. Probably from the alcohol, but also because Clarke clocked Lexa as soon as she walked in and they made brief eye contact, before someone else distracted the blonde and she looked away.

“Oh ho ho! It looks like someone’s got their eye on a newby,” Jasper said as he swung his arm around Lexa’s shoulders as she stared. “Dude, just go ask her for her number, you’d probably make her night.”

“Nah, I’ve never even met her, I don’t wanna be weird..”

“You’re already weird,” said a new voice. “And who haven’t you met?”

Anya walked up to her and Jasper.

“Lil’ Lex here is a lil’ bit smitten,” he said, laughing and running away, dodging Lexa’s uncoordinated hands as he tried to grab him. “Good luck, commander!”

Anya, clearly less drunk, took the remaining cup from Lexa and tossed its contents on the lawn.

“You should probably drink some water. You look like shit.”

“I feel fucking fabulous.”

“Okay, what’s going on, you never drink this much.”

“Do you know her?” Lexa said, pointing over to Clarke, suddenly realizes she’s pointing and hurriedly drops her hand.

“Who? The freshmen? Which one?”

“The pretty one.”

“Ah. I see. Hey Raven!” Anya shouts across the yard and another gorgeous girl with brown hair back in a ponytail turns toward them and smiles.

“Oh I see what you mean. Not that pretty one,” said Lexa.

“Hey, hands off. I know you met the blonde, you think I haven’t figured out your type?”

Raven walked over to them, Lexa noticed Clarke look over to them. “What’s up? Finally decide you needed a little more Reyes in your life?”  
Anya rolled her eyes. “Maybe another time, but my cousin here wants to know what the deal is with blondie over there.”

Lexa shrinks back, suddenly embarrassed from being put on the spot. She feels her stomach turn. Maybe I should go get some water.

“I’m going to go get some water,” she announces, and walks inside to go to the kitchen. She pulls out one of her million water bottles from the cupboard and fills it up at the sink. When she turns around to leave the kitchen again, Clarke is walking...toward her? No. Yes? Oh god, I’m too drunk, not right now!

“Hey,” Clarke says to Lexa as she approaches. She’s smiling. It’s cute. It makes Lexa smile like a drunk idiot.

“Uh, I- Hey. Hi.”

Clarke laughs. Oh wow, Clarke’s laugh.

“Um, Raven just said she was going introduce us I guess? I’m Clarke.”  
Clarke held her hand out for Lexa. Lexa took it gently and made the motions of a hand shake as best she could, considering her current situation. Lexa suddenly realized she’d stopped breathing, and let out a cough, moving to cover her mouth suddenly.

“I’m sorry cough it’s really nice to-” oh no. Not now. “Um. I’m so sorry, but I think I need to go throw up.”

Clarke watched Lexa quickly walk, taken a little off guard. She laughed again and followed Lexa to the stairs to the basement.

“Hey do you need help?” Clarke asked, but Lexa just kept moving through the people, past the sign that read “KEEP THE FUCK OUT” on the banister to the basement, and down the stairs. And Clarke kept following.   
As soon as Lexa was in her and Anya’s bathroom she shut the door behind her, dropped to her knees, and let her body do its thing into the porcelain throne. By this point in her college career, she’d been drunk and puked enough to have a system to getting sick, so she just rolled with it. Once she was done, which felt like hours later but was probably just a few minutes, she stood up, brushed her teeth and looked for her water.

Where did she just put it?

Clarke sat down on a couch in the Den, not wanting to invite Lexa’s space but wanting to make sure she was okay. Lexa opened the door and looked out searching for her water bottle she must’ve dropped when she saw Clarke sitting there. Lexa froze. She wasn’t really as drunk anymore, just surprised to see the beautiful girl sitting there alone.

“Feeling better?” said Clarke.

Lexa nodded, coming out of her trance. “Yeah! Um, yeah. Much. Did you happen to see if I..,” Lexa trailed off as Clarke held up her water bottle, smiling. That damn smile. That smile could save lives. Lexa walked forward, grabbing the water, and moving to sit down in the big comfy chair, the closest thing to Clarke without sitting on the same piece of furniture.

They spoke at the same time:

“I think I’m going to-,”  
“I hope it’s okay that I’m-,”

They both laughed, both nervously. But neither of them noticed the nervousness in each other.

“Go ahead,” Lexa said.

“I hope you don’t mind that I came down here. I don’t really like parties, but my roommates do, and I think Raven has a thing for one of the girls who lives here, so they keep dragging me here with them.”

“Oh.” OH? Lexa you dumb idiot. Say something else. “She must be talking about my cousin. Because I’m pretty sure Raven and I have never met before tonight, so I doubt it's me.”

“Oh! You live here? I guess that makes sense why you came downstairs.”  
They sat awkwardly for a few seconds before lea remembered she was going to say something before.

“What I was going to say, before, when we- when you- I was just going to say, I think I’m going to through some Netflix on now that I’m here, but you’re more than welcome to stay down here, too. If you’d like.”  
Lexa had to remember to breathe again.

“Oh god, absolutely, I really want to avoid the party at all costs, so thanks!” Clarke said.

  
Lexa put on some show and passed out about four minutes into it. Clarke had been watching Lexa the whole time, anyway, she could care less about what was on the tv. She got up from the couch and turned the volume down, grabbed a blanket off the back of the chair Lexa slept in, and put it over a now sleeping Lexa. Clarke looked around for a pen and paper to leave her number on. She liked this girl. She didn’t know yet in what fashion, but she was definitely hot. Clarke wasn’t really the type to do random hookups, nor did she want to focus her energy on anything more than softball and school, especially during her first year at Arkadia.

Making friends won’t hurt, though, she thought.

Unable to find something to write on, she went into the bathroom, pulled her lipstick out of her back pocket, and wrote her number at the bottom of the mirror, followed by her name and a little heart. It was cheap lipstick anyway, she didn't care. She went back and sat down, waiting for her roommates to text her when they were ready to go, enjoying the sounds of Lexa sleeping nearby, despite the party noises drifting down the stairs.

  
Roan’s voice pulled Lexa out of her daydream and back onto the field.

“Seriously, check her out,” he said.

“What?” Lexa felt flustered.

“Clarke. She’s so damn fast, it’s crazy. Good thing she can hit too.”

Lexa knew she could. She’d been to almost every home game the last two years. Even after her and Clarke stopped talking over a year ago.   
She sat over on the side of the stands every time, trying to not be too obvious she was there watching Clarke. But Clarke saw her every time.

“Alright ladies! Let’s get a call and get back into the gym for a quick, light squat session!” yelled Pike.

Bellamy walked over to the two on the sidelines.

“Wait, are they going to go squat now that they just did that?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah, just to check form and see if anyone bothered lifting over summer at all,” said Bellamy. “That’s the whole point of today. Pike wants them to know this isn’t a program for any second rate athlete. They should’ve been conditioning throughout summer if they didn’t want to puke on the field.”

Lexa nodded in understanding. “Well they looked fairly decent out there for the most part.”

“Your sister wasn’t too happy though,” Roan said with a deep laugh.  
Bellamy shrugged. “She’ll be fine. Her and all her buddies have been following some programming I put together for them over summer, so the three of them did just fine. Even if they do want to kill me right now,” he ended with a grin as they walked inside.

“Hey Lex,” said a voice in passing. Lexa looked up to see Clarke smile in her direction as she passed, but then Clarke kept walking and caught up with her teammates.

“You know Clarke?” Roan asked. Bellamy looked at her curiously.

Lexa sighed, trying not to think about the last two years too much.

“I did. I guess. Not really anymore, though.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If some things aren’t making sense yet...they will soon. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
